So now I’m active in at least three forums (which is a drop in the bucket, of course), and I’m getting emails throughout the day responding to various comments I might leave in different locations. Hmm…
Not much writing getting done.
I took some time the other day and worked a bit on Autograph. I have my doubts about finishing it (although I think sheer stubborness will win out), if only because I haven’t really found myself liking the book so far. I like the concept, and I even like the story I came up with in my outline. Just not the writing. It isn’t even style or grammar. I just don’t like it that much yet.
I’m going to give it some time, though. I may yet find the story’s voice.
The real difficulty in balance is in having so many conflicting priorities. I have to look for a steady job (which is irksome, ’cause I’d rather get paid to be me – or at least to write). I have ministry to do (I don’t get paid for that usually. I have a little support coming in, but nothing to live on). And, of course, my wife wants my expertise on putting together her homeschooling reports. Sigh.
I know that sometime today I will be prayer walking the neighborhood. I’m convinced this is how God wants me to gather His people together – if only because nothing else has worked!
And maybe part of the problem is having so many stories I want to write – stories I have started and just not been able to finish yet. Heck, I have more of them coming to mind all the time.
Unfortunately, there’s no magic wand I can wave to make this all happen. I have to work at it all slowly and steadily, all the while acknowledging that none of this may go anywhere except for my harddrive. On the other hand, the truth is I’m not really writing for everyone else. I write because I want to. I tell the stories I’m interested in.
And I remain confident that all of this is going to make sense – even bear fruit at some future date.
I planted a garden the other day. We have these woods and underbrush behind our house. I cleared away about 60 square feet, tilled the soil, and planted about seven rows of corn. I’m told most people don’t succeed with corn. I just about broke my lower back working with the shovel and rake (no pick axe or motorized equipment. Just a shovel and rake), not to mention the blisters on each hand. I’ve also contracted a nice bout of poison ivy all up my hands and arms (should’ve seen that coming.).
And now I have this barren patch of earth behind my house. The seeds are in the ground. It’s good soil. The sun is shining, and the rain falls. And in about two months time, I might see some corn. Right now I just get to trust that all my hardwork and pain will pay off.
Now my wife wants me to plant some squash…